The Fall can get squirrely. Somewhere, lost in all of those movies and fall desserts that normal people are binging on, your team takes a break from the cupcakes and faces a conference opponent and shows it’s true 6-6 colors. Much like your kids are going to find out in a few months that Santa’s not real, so too will you find out that your team’s new coordinator is also a big fat lie. And so, many of us will head into the month of October only to realize that our man-child of head coach, cannot in fact, ride a bike without the G5 training wheels that made him look so good at that last job. Consequently, we have a few regrets:
Like the last ten years of SEC coaching hires, where the conference more or less has traded in FIVE coaches with National Championship rings for up and comers that probably literally receive death threats every day that they don’t beat Nick Saban.
I’m sure most people regret visiting Nebraska for absolutely any reason, let alone making the trip to Lincoln to watch the huskers throw three interceptions and lose to Northern Illinois. Kind of serves you right for shit canning a coach that won you nine games every year, though. Even if he was an angry cat lady disguised as Lord Voldermort.
You almost certainly have to regret putting your hopes into that “dark horse” Heisman candidate that was supposed to have a breakout year. Too bad pre-season expectations were only half as heavy as that opposing defender on 3rd and long and quite frankly, shame on you for putting that evil on him, Ricky Bobby.
Of course, you haven’t wrecked yet, but ohhh boy are you slowly drifting more and more onto that shoulder. This leaves you with two choices, neither of which involves firmly grasping the wheel and regaining control of the car. NOPE, that kind of sensibility is reserved for Stanford and Kansas State. No, your options are to either continue to barrel on into the meat of your conference schedule, bracing for the impact of the 30+ point skull dragging the eventual conference champion is going to give you, or take swift and decisive action. That’s right. Fire coach, promote an interim, jerk the steering wheel counterclockwise, annnndddd overcorrect it and go careening wildly into the oncoming traffic of an 18 wheeler. Don’t forget to smile.